Spring 2026 Issue

Children & Families: Empathy Over Authority
By Victoria Springer
Social Work Today
Vol. 26 No. 2 P. 28

What Parenting Groups Taught Me as a Student Social Worker

What type of parent are you? Dictator? Doormat? Active Parent? This was one of my first questions I discussed in group. This sets the tone for honest reflection rather than judgment. The question challenges parents to consider their parenting style and the principles that inform their choices rather than categorizing parents as “good” or “bad.”

Facilitating parenting groups as a student social worker meant stepping into a leadership role early in my training. While I had previous experience facilitating groups, this was my first time leading a group focused specifically on helping parents become more active and well-rounded in their parenting. In my program, I facilitate Active Parenting of Teens by Michael H. Popkin, an evidence-informed program that emphasizes encouragement, responsibility, and open communication between parents and adolescents.

In this generation, parenting takes place in an environment of increased stress and uncertainty. Many parents are juggling the growing knowledge of young mental health issues, such as anxiety and difficulties with emotional regulation, while raising teenagers. Social media puts additional strain on parents, influencing how they keep an eye on their children’s safety, relationships with their peers, and self-worth in ways that were not possible for earlier generations. In addition, a lot of parents that I see are raising children while also dealing with the unresolved fallout from their own early life, such as trauma or a lack of role models. Parents frequently feel overburdened and uncertain about whether their instincts are “right” due to these interlocking stressors, even when their intentions are firmly anchored in protection and caring.

Additionally, rather than being voluntarily requested, parenting groups are often required by child welfare, family court, or preventive service systems. Because of this, parents frequently attend with a range of emotions, such as defensiveness, skepticism, or fear related to evaluation. This setting adds another level of complexity to facilitation for student and early-career social workers, requiring careful attention to trust, building power dynamics, and involvement from the very first session. Most of the parents in the group are mandated to come by the courts, which can sometimes make the individuals in my group not want to participate. It’s part of my duty to make them feel comfortable.

Navigating Age, Authority, and Use of Self as a Student Facilitator
At 22 years old, facilitating a parenting group presented unique challenges. Some parents openly said, “You’re my daughter’s age,” or “You’ll understand when you have kids one day.” While these remarks were not expressed with hostility, they initially contributed to feelings of self-doubt.

There is often initial reluctance because many parents are court-mandated to attend. At the age of 22, I occasionally feared that the parents would withdraw due to my age. Reframing the situation, however, was made easier by approaching the group with empathy rather than authority. Vulnerability was eventually displayed by even required participants, confirming that relationships, not requirements, are the foundation of involvement.

I began to recognize that my age could be an asset. Without letting my own experience or parenting beliefs influence my assumptions, I talked to each parent with openness and active listening. My anchor was empathy. I focused on encouraging dialogue and validating lived experience.

From Theory to Practice. What Students Don’t Expect
Graduate school has given me a strong foundation in theory, including cognitive behavioral strategies, strengths-based perspectives, and psychoeducational frameworks that guide structured group interventions. In a program like Active Parenting of Teens, these evidence-informed approaches translate into tools for improving communication, encouraging responsibility, and supporting development. On paper, the structure feels clear, organized, and manageable. But what are these classes not teaching us?

Facilitating a real parenting group looks very different than discussing interventions in a classroom. Professors don’t teach you how to balance structure with empathy while responding to real-time emotional disclosures from the individuals in front of you. Parents often begin by discussing behaviors, but the discussion quickly shifts into deeper emotions such guilt, shame, and trauma from their childhood. These emotional disclosures cannot be contained within a lesson plan or a PowerPoint.

During my undergraduate program, one professor stood out for consistently connecting classroom concepts to real-life practice. His approach helped me understand that effective social work cannot be learned through theory alone. This also shaped my aspiration to one day become the kind of professor I once needed, one who prepares students for the emotional and practical realities of the field.

Yet the transition from theory to practice introduces complexities that are difficult to fully grasp until standing in front of a group. Graduate classes don’t teach you how to work with an individual who doesn’t want to be there. I had to navigate that on my own, with the help of supervision.

As a student facilitator, my role was not just to teach the material, but to respond as a clinician. By actively listening to parents’ emotions while still guiding the group in a supportive and structured way.

The Engagement
In one session, a father shared, “Sometimes I think I’m crazy … like I’m just a bad parent.” His voice cracked slightly as he spoke. Rather than redirecting to the curriculum, I gently challenged the distortion. I responded, “Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. The fact that you’re here, showing up for this group, says something about how much you care.” He began to tear up.

In that moment, no slide or handout could have created the same shift. What changed was not the content, it was the emotional climate. By reframing his self-criticism and acknowledging this effort, the group moved from defensiveness to vulnerability. The room softened.

As a student facilitator, I realized that engagement is not separate from intervention; it is the intervention. When parents feel seen rather than evaluated, they become more open to learning. Empathy became the bridge between resistance and openness, between self-blame and growth. Creating this type of presence is crucial for social workers in their early careers. Yes, the curriculum matters. But without empathy in the work, strategies rarely take root. When individuals feel seen rather than judged, they become more willing to reflect, practice, and change.

I recognized that empathy was not just a supportive response but an active clinical skill that helped reduce shame and increase trust. By attuning to his emotions and responding with compassion rather than correction, I was able to create a space where vulnerability felt safe and engagement became possible.

This experience reinforced my understanding that, particularly in parenting groups where many parents arrive feeling judged or defensive, empathy functions as a bridge between resistance and participation.

Parenting Groups as a Training Ground for Early-Career Social Workers
As a student social worker, leading parenting groups soon emerged as one of the most influential components of my professional growth. In contrast to simulated classroom talks, group facilitation necessitated leadership in a dynamic setting, emotional intelligence, and quick decision-making. I was actively leading discussions and converting evidence-based content into language that these parents could understand and find encouraging rather than just watching practice.

This responsibility can feel both empowering and intimidating, particularly when working with individuals who are older and have more lived parenting experience. While I had prior experience during my BSW facilitating groups for youth in transitional housing, leading a parenting group challenged me to shift my approach.

Supervision also plays a crucial role in this learning process. Reflecting on sessions, receiving feedback, and processing challenging moments helped me integrate theory with practice more intentionally. For early-career social workers, parenting groups serve not only as an intervention for families but also as a powerful training ground for developing professional identity, confidence, and clinical competence.

Practice Takeaways for Students
Facilitating parenting groups taught me that effective group work requires far more than simply discussing the curriculum. One of the most crucial lessons for students and social workers in their early careers is that engagement must occur before action. Parents are less likely to engage freely when they feel pressured or judged.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Each parent enters the room with different lived experiences and beliefs. Being able to adapt language and facilitation style is essential, especially when emotional moments arise unexpectedly.

Ultimately, I realized that empathy is my “superpower.” Using empathy through validation, active listening, and strengths-based reframing can not only reduce shame but also increase the engagement of the group.

By appropriately disclosing personal information while upholding professional limits, you can demonstrate to clients that you are a human. Sincerity, empathy, and thoughtful self-disclosure can all contribute to the development of trust and promote deeper group engagement.

Reflection
Reflecting on my experience facilitating parenting groups as a student social worker, I have come to realize that the role involves far more than simply teaching parenting strategies.

At 22, facilitating a room of parents, all older than me, challenged my confidence initially. However, I learned to view my age not as a weakness, but as a strength that allows me to lead with humility and intentional listening. Over time, empathy became my greatest clinical strength and a bridge between resistance and engagement.

Going back to the first question, “What kind of parent are you? I now understand that the question is about growth rather than labels. In the same way, early-career social workers aren’t defined by how long they’ve been in the field but by their openness to learning and reflection.

— Victoria Springer is an Advanced Standing MSW student at Adelphi University and a social work intern at Family & Children’s Association in New York. Her work focuses on supporting adolescents and families through parenting education, group interventions, and strengths-based practice.