Fall 2025 Issue

Maternal Health: Relationship Challenges of Unmarried Black Mothers
By Sheontee C. Frank, MSW, LCSW, BCD
Social Work Today
Vol. 25 No. 4 P. 10

Black unmarried mothers are a source of strength, fortitude, and perseverance in every Black community. They represent the foundational pillars within most Black communities and appear to manage competing demands of personal, professional, and parenthood. Their strength and resilience are admirable; however, they may lack admiration from desirable mates. In 2022, only 27% of Black households were married couples, compared with 50% of white households. Black households were more likely to be maintained by a woman without a spouse at the rate of 25% which is double the rate compared with all other households.1 These statistics are alarming and pose the question of “why are there so many Black unmarried mothers?” The socialized goal for many Black American women is to marry and have children; however, Black unmarried women are more likely to cohabitate compared with white women and less likely to transition to marriage, suggesting cohabitation or remaining single has become an alternative to marriage.2,3 The unmarried with children status as a Black woman is negatively correlated with societal disparities.4 Unmarried mothers are mostly in their 30s to 40s without a college degree who earn an average annual income of $38,000. Half of whom have never been married, and most are Black.5 Social work practitioners are at an increased likelihood of supporting unmarried Black mothers, which calls for a particular focus on clarifying their relationship goals and difficulties. The biopsychosocial model is utilized to understand the interconnectedness of the biological, psychological, and social factors that may contribute to a problem. The social factors can include elements of a person’s culture, relationships, support system, and community. A thorough evaluation of these factors and their impacts on the successes and difficulties experienced is important to understand when tailoring support. Knowledge of the local resources to include support groups, childcare opportunities, and culturally competent therapists, should be used when developing the associated treatment plan. The NASW Code of Ethics encourages social work practitioners to challenge societal disparities through the promotion of knowledge about oppressive acts while ensuring access to necessary resources to meet their clients’ needs.6

Social connectedness is an innate survival mechanism that can contribute to a person’s health and longevity. Black unmarried mothers’ desire for love and connection from a romantic partner is consistent with the needs of other groups, yet their needs are often not fulfilled. Loneliness is associated with depressive and anxious symptoms and is a predictor of suicidal behavior for Black women.7 Healthy romantic relationships can contribute to a person’s self-worth, status, and social connection. In fact, high-quality relationships characterized by low conflict and high support tend to correlate with reports of fewer depressive symptoms for Black women.8 Black unmarried mothers should be entitled to the same freedoms to establish and maintain a healthy relationship if they desire; however, systemic discrimination and societal norm pressures have been proven to impact their romantic desirability and emotional capacity to engage in a healthy relationship.

Black women tend to marry members from other races at the rate of 13% compared with Black men who marry at the rate of 21%.9 Their preference to marry a Black man despite the mate selection opportunities, perception regarding their desirability, and the fear of stigma from family members have contributed to the maintenance of an unmarried status.10 Family structures have changed over the years in what can be considered a form of liberation for Black women who chose to remain unmarried, cohabitate, or divorce. This change in family structure is heavily influenced by the increase in women entering the workforce, the pursuit of educational goals, changes in cultural norms regarding out-of-wedlock births, and divorce.5 Despite the freedom of choice in relationships, societal pressures to include disparities of being an unmarried parent can influence the unmarried Black mother’s relationship perceptions and desirability, which can jeopardize their resilience.

Historical Implications
A proper analysis of the societal disparities requires a retrospective lens to inform the development of social work practice. The earliest American depictions of Black women were developed during the Transatlantic Slave Trade. Slave owners created propaganda that portrayed Black women as physically and psychologically stronger compared with European American women to justify their enslavement and inhuman treatment.7 These acts established a desirability tone that depicted Black women in an unfavorable manner. Men of other races reportedly view Black women as not attractive and with undesirable personalities, leading to a decrease in the mate selection pool.10 Discrimination and stereotypes have long contributed to the declining marriage and committed relationship rates amongst Black women.11 These historical narratives have established a desirability tone for mates that makes it difficult in the present day to engage in a cross-cultural relationship. Beauty has been positively correlated with “exotic physical features,” usually unattributed to Black Americans in mass media outlets, making it difficult for Black unmarried mothers to attract a desirable mate. Desirability and attraction are directly tied to a person’s self-esteem and worth. Feelings of inadequacy associated with the lack of interest and loneliness despite efforts can be considered consequences of the relationship difficulties experienced by unmarried mothers. Societal pressure to be in a relationship, even if it is an unhealthy relationship, can encourage the acceptance of behaviors from their mate, such as abuse, infidelity, or cohabitation, that may deviate from their relationship goals.2,10

A Call to Action
The NASW prioritizes the promotion of all people’s dignity and self-worth. Social work practitioners can assist unmarried Black mothers through the promotion of activities that help them understand the causes of the relationship difficulties they encounter while empowering them to develop their relationship narrative that is defined by their goals, immaterial of societal norms. The Black Feminist Theory focuses on the intersectionality of racism and sexism and how they create the social issues and inequalities Black women face. “Black women’s experience of racism, sexism, and classism is inseparable. Their needs and worldviews are distinct from those of Black men and white women. There is no contradiction between the struggle against racism, sexism, and all other-isms. All must be addressed simultaneously.”12 Intersectionality is a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw that places emphasis on how multiple social identities intersect to reflect interlocking systems of privilege and oppression.13 Intersectionality provides a lens that raises awareness regarding the systemic causes for the marginalization of Black unmarried mothers in the relationship domain. The Black Feminist Theory focuses on building skills to negate the negative cultural messages that will promote their resilience using empowerment strategies, engagement in social activities, educating on power imbalances, and critical consciousness.14 Marketing campaigns should be tailored to promote prosocial relationship behaviors centered around positive imaging of Black unmarried mothers. These campaigns could promote self-esteem while normalizing the unmarried with children family structure to improve their mate selection opportunities. When social work practitioners see campaigns that contradict their strength and beauty, they are charged to contact the companies to raise the concern, using literature to support the need for change. The higher probability for Black women to cohabitate with associated romantic satisfaction suggests a shift in societal norms is necessary to decrease the pressures unmarried mothers experience about their relationship status.2 If a relationship is desired, the relationship process requires a person to adopt strategies that align with a potential mate’s preferences.15 Social work practitioners should respect and promote the mother’s rights to self-determination by assisting them in clarifying their relationship goals and offering support that is cognizant of their positionality.6 The promotion of prosocial behaviors such as trust, honesty, commitment, support, and emotional validation can increase the likelihood of finding a desirable mate. Lastly, strength-based interventions focused on the development of self-love, such as “dating oneself” and compassion, such as reframing self-talk, can promote their resilience while increasing their awareness of the many attributes that make them worthy, deserving, and enough.

— Sheontee C. Frank, MSW, LCSW, BCD, is a doctoral social work candidate at the University of Kentucky who currently serves as a behavioral health consultant and behavioral medicine faculty member who trains and precepts family medicine resident physicians and medical students. In addition to these duties, she serves as an administrator within a primary care clinic. Previous appointments include administrator of a special duty status mental health clinic, Combat Operations Stress Clinic provider in a deployed location, clinical social worker for a humanitarian mission, and mental health provider treating service members with a wide range of acute clinical issues to include suicidality, anxiety, depression, deployment-related stressors, trauma, and co-occurring substance use disorders. Areas of expertise include trauma-informed treatment, substance abuse treatment, trauma, and health psychology interventions while working with the military population.

References
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2. Lincoln KD, Taylor RJ, Jackson JS. Romantic relationships among uunmarried African Americans and Caribbean Blacks: findings from the national survey of American life. Fam Relat. 2008;57(2):254-266.

3. Packer-Williams C. Understanding the impact of maternal messages given to single, educated African American women about relationships. Black Women, Gender & Families. 2009;3(2):48-67.

4. Chinn JJ, Martin IK, Redmond N. Health equity among Black women in the United States. J Women's Health (Larchmt). 2021;30(2):212-219.

5. Salas-Betsch I. The economic status of single mothers. Center for American Progress website. https://www.americanprogress.org/article/the-economic-status-of-single-mothers/. Published August 7, 2024.

6. NASW code of ethics. National Association of Social Workers website. https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-English. Published 2017. Accessed August, 27, 2025.

7. Liao KY-H, Wei M, Yin M. The misunderstood schema of the strong black woman: exploring its mental health consequences and coping responses among African American women. Psychol Women Q. 2020;44(1):84-104.

8. Hanus SL, Simons LG, Lei MK, Cobb RJ, Simons RL. Romantic relationship status, quality, and depressive symptoms among middle-aged and older black women. J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2022;77(11):2126-2136. 

9. Lopez MH, Martinez G, Moslimani M, Key facts about the U.S. Black population. Pew Research Center website. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/01/23/key-facts-about-black-americans/. Published January 23, 2025.

10. Boyd B, Stephens DP, Asia E, Bruk-Lee V. Exploring partner scarcity: highly educated black women and dating compromise. Sexuality Research & Social Policy. 2021;18(3):702-714.

11. Washington C, Walker L, District of Columbia had the lowest percentage of married Black adults in 2015-2019. U.S. Census Bureau website. https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2022/07/marriage-prevalence-for-black-adults-varies-by-state.html. Published July 19, 2022.

12. The original activists: Black feminism and the Black feminist movement. National Organization for Women website. https://now.org/blog/the-original-activists-black-feminism-and-the-black-feminist-movement/. Published April 9, 2019.

13. Bowleg L. The problem with the phrase women and minorities: intersectionality—an important theoretical framework for public health. Am J Public Health. 2012;102(7):1267-1273.

14. Cabell CD. Black feminist theory as an approach to therapeutic growth and healing [published online January 2, 2024]. J Humanist Psychol. doi: 10.1177/00221678231221302

15. Apostolou M, Sullman M, Birkás B, et al. Strategies for becoming a more desirable mate: evidence from 14 countries. Personal Relationships. 2024;31(1):4-23.